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LaChug
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Name: Leslie
Country: United States
State: New York
Gender: Female
Interests: Climbing, singing, dancing, dawing, video gaming, thinking, reading and writing till my head starts to bleed and living like sleep .
is never a need.
Anything rodent-like
Anything fun,
Anything that involves
Animals and guns.
Expertise: Downing a 24 oz. steak.
My portfolio--> www.ravenribbon.com
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/9/2003
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| The television series is a horribly underrated medium.
Currently feeling pretty damn talentless, inadequate, behind, and dumb.
Man this industry is damn stressful.
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| Sometimes I feel like I'm classically misunderstood. Or rather I should say sterotypically teenage-anst misunderstood.
But seriously, it seems hard to find people who will laugh the way you do, who have the kind of personality and humor that makes you feel so comfortable and alive, that makes you feel like you have a companion, kindred spirit in this world who 'gets' you and you 'get' them and together you live and grow and share the world in tune with each other. It's hard to find someone with that sense of curiosity and adventure that matches your definition of it. I'm not just talking about love here, though to have that in a love relationship would truly be ideal. I'm talking about everything. Just having people around you that make you feel alive, that match you, that can step up to the plate when you throw them the ball. They can take your ideas and run with it, and you can take theirs and make something great. Too often I find that most people pause at how weird the things I say are, instead of thinking they're funny or silly and saying something equally fun or silly back... or just even giving me a good natured laugh. Instead they take me seriously, or smile and say aww you're weird!
Argh!!!!!
I wonder often why I just don't 'get' what they see in others too. For instance someone will rave about a friend of theirs, how awesome and funny and crazy and hilarious she is, and I am excited to meet them and finally meet someone who will have an alive personality and..... their humor doesn't make me laugh the way I feel happiest, nor crazy in the way that I feel is uniquely bold. I can count less than four people who do that for me, and wow am I grateful for having them in my life for they give me the feelings that I am searching for. I can think of 1 person who is not a part of my immediate relationships who fits that, but at least is a friend of someone close enoguh to me that I will experience his humor enough to make me think at least there are some people out there to be outside of ordinary.
Maybe I'm just too weird and the rest of the world is just too normal for me and I'm the one who doesn't get it. Course there are weird people who are a little too weird..... damn the varying degrees of everything!
Backflips are cool.
I wish my hamster was a larger pet who would stay still when I pet him instead of wandering his crawly self all over the place.
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| So many lessons to be learned. While ordinarily you want to remember the good in people in order to make things better for each other, sometimes you must remember what was bad so that you stay away from what was hurting you to begin with. Sometimes difficult things need to be done in order to regain your freedom, and throw off the chains of guilt that others would have you wear to further their own desires.
Some things need to be dealt with in ways you woudlnt have once thought were ideal, but hey this is reality. Things aren't that easy, or as idealistic. Most ideals anyway tend to balk under the weight of reality.
Word of advice. Be careful of who you spend your time with. Watch for who you might become, are you a better person for it? What good do they bring out in you and what bad? If you don't like who you are because of someone, if what they bring out in you are traits that you find to be ugly, then do all that you can to salvage the good that you believe you want yourself to be.
Poison tastes sweet and it feels warm, but inside it will tear you up.
"As
we get older, we have fewer friends and more acquaintances. We see with experienced
eyes. We tend to expect more from our friends; perhaps we expect too much. Nevertheless,
reserve judgment and forgive, but move on. Tap into your gut feelings. Just because
you have a history with someone, doesn’t mean you need to keep on repeating
it. We outgrow many things during the course of a lifetime and take many detours.
During the course of our journey we make new friends and exchange our gifts with
them." | | |
| What a long, long journey it is easing the troubled soul. Answers are hard to find, and hard to make fit. From where and whom are they supposed to come from to help in the journey?
Don't want to end up looking like the idiot fool, just waiting around, optimistic, naive, and blinded by her own hopes and dreams. Maybe she's lying to herself, closing her eyes so that she doesn't see the weak foundations that she's standing on. It's wobbly, because more still needs to be built, but if it's too slow, how long will it last?
How much more are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want? How much more will you drain out of yourself?
It's a terrible thing to keep wondering why it feels like you're being set aside. To keep wondering when's it your turn? You look at all the others around you, and there are so many who look like they have what you want, and their journey was much easier. Why didn't they have to wait? Why is it that things are just a little harder for you?
I think that everyone has wondered that about their lives at some point, even the people that I am envious of.
Indeed I am envious of all the normal people out there. How much I want to be like them, despite knowing that that's just not me.
Why is it so easy for others to not torture themselves so much over the future? I look where I am now and constantly worry about making mistakes, what mistakes am I making right now that will affect my future? What am I doing right now that will make that goal of happiness less and less a reality. I look around me and see everything as breakable. Afterall, there's no such thing as forever.
I've thought about that phrase a lot "There's no such thing as forever." We live in a bullshit world of greeting card messages and diamond ring ads. If you swallow your pride, break away from stubbornness, give a chance to thinking outside of the box, giving yourself and others the benefit of the doubt ..... then I think the phrase 'there's no such thing as forever' is something that can be said for all respects of life. ALL. Your lot in life, how people view you, how you view yourself, the people around you, your current emotional state, your current job, your current status, your current everything.
And that can be good and bad, depending on how you use it.
Maybe is a word too often used, and it births and feeds demons.
It's been a while since I last said it, but the wanderlust is still there. I am searching for you, peace of mind.
Where are you?
Oh and fuck you school!!!
God, I REALLY don't want to be there.
Still counting down the days to total freedom.
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| Keep in mind that those who are most aggressive about asserting who they are, may be the ones who are farthest from what they proclaim themselves to be.
The year hasn't started yet and I'm already tired. I want no more trouble.
Silence does not always mean agreement. Silence might also mean that you understand that there's nothing else you can say, because you know you're not changing anyone's mind, or perception of things.
I think things are going to be much better. | | |
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